Dear Emotionally Enmeshed Wife:
The fighting. The fear even when he's never given you a reason to be afraid. The anxiety about how to raise healthy adults - not knowing when to hold a limit and what to model for your kids so they'll suffer less.
If you grew up with very domineering parents and feel this way today, there's a good chance you're an empath.
An empath feels the emotions of others as if they were their own.
And if there was a lot of anger or punishment in your childhood, then your body created a plan to perceive and respond to a threat by changing your behavior to make them happy.
In other words, you became convinced somewhere along the way that you're responsible for how OTHERS feel.
Well, you're not. And there's a term for that: Emotional Enmeshment.
Feeling personally responsible for the feelings of those around you means that you're not actually sure where you end and they begin.
And not knowing this means that you honestly never REALLY know what YOU want. Or how to give them what THEY need! It's a lose-lose way of living and it's time to kick emotional enmeshment to the curb!
When you hear the word "boundaries," you might think it's an ultimatum you hold when you're sick of something.
And chances are that you really don't want to actually lose anyone in your life.
Boundaries actually mean knowing where your physical boundary ends and where another's physical boundary begins. It's learning to know exactly what emotions and feelings are YOURS and what are THEIRS.
- It's making choices that reflect your love for yourself.
- It's holding limits for your children that teach them how to love themselves.
- And it's trusting your intuition to move you away from behavior that isn't loving toward you.
It sounds simple, but if your parents didn't model this as a child and you feel responsible for everyone's feelings - it can be hard to understand, and even harder to bring into your life.
Did you feel respected growing up? Or were you like Ralphie in A Christmas Story, daydreaming about going blind or having an illness so they'd suddenly be kind to you?
In this class, I'll teach you what your boundaries are, how to know what's yours and what's his, the four simple limits to hold for your child so they'll become healthy, thriving adults, and what exactly to do when someone does cross (or violate) your boundaries.
By the time you're done you'll have defeated Emotional Enmeshment and feel confident and powerful enough to bravely hold limits for yourself and your kids.
We'll talk about the easy way to know when you need to hold a limit - you don't even have to think about it!
And we'll start to silence that critical inner voice so you'll feel one with your intuition and know what you want and what to do, moment by moment.
The only thing you have to lose here are more wasted years of doing what everyone else wants and never truly feeling happy.
Learning this SAVED MY MARRIAGE - I started off so afraid to set boundaries - I was afraid he'd leave me, he'd hurt me (even though he never has -- the conditioning runs deep), or I'd try to hold those limits and then feel tremendous guilt as Emotional Enmeshment brought Inner Critic to the party, and they both told me I was a horrible person for making HIM feel bad. Even though the truth was that I had been denying myself from getting what I really wanted to "make" him happy for years!
It was a pattern started when I was a little girl, and it needed to die for my life to begin.
You deserve this too.
You deserve to fully live your life, not bound and caged by others. You deserve to feel free to be fully - and only- YOU.
Once you step into just you - not carrying the burdens of someone else's happiness - you not only allow yourself to grow and blossom and live the life you've always dreamed of, but you allow THEM to grow as well. No longer enabling them is the best, most loving gift you can give to the people you care about.
Join me for Getting the Love You Deserve: Avoid The 6 Mistakes Most People Make When Setting Boundaries.
This course will help you kick emotional enmeshment to the curb so you can do what you want without feeling guilty, help your family members grow, and get the love you deserve.
Hi, I’m Beth Rowles
I help women who are angry with their husbands or feel anxious about their parenting silence that critical inner voice so they can reconnect with their intuition, get the love they want, and inspire others to grow.
I'm a Certified Conscious Parenting and Relationship Coach and the author of The Authentic Wife: Uncaging Yourself Through Marriage. I have two years of training with clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary (author of The Awakened Family and The Conscious Parent).
Ending anxiety about my marriage and parenting took learning how to get what I really want without being afraid of hurting others or feeling guilty for loving myself.
If you find yourself constantly doing what others want you to, feeling resentful, not trusting your spouse, or wondering how to raise healthy children, this course is for you!